Quantum Bayesian Networks

January 31, 2010

Why String Theorists Should Switch Fields to Quantum Computing

Filed under: Uncategorized — rrtucci @ 5:58 pm

String Theorists who switch to quantum computing can look forward to the following perks:

  • No Loop Gravity crackpots to drive you crazy.
  • No Peter Woit telling everyone that you are a B.S. artist.
  • No need to reassure people that you are not at all like Lubos Motl or any other Stalin wannabes.
  • Unlike string theorists, quantum computerists are funded by the Military. The Military believe in you (or your lethal potential).
  • You will finally stand out: Instead of competing against Ed Witten and the likes of him, you’ll be competing against people about as intelligent as Ed Witten’s hamster.
  • Takes 2 weeks instead of 1 decade to master the subject.
  • Same as in String Theory: no need to do Physics if you don’t want to (just do quantum complexity theory).
  • Only 3+1 dimensions.
  • Only one particle, the qubit.
  • More than one machine to do experiments on. Machines not as big as a city.
  • Predicts something.
  • We also have multiverse crackpots/mystics.
  • If you can’t get a job in the Physics department, you can always get one in the Mechanical Engineering one. (If you don’t believe me, check out Seth Lloyd)


  1. Good advice!

    Comment by Quputer — February 1, 2010 @ 6:06 am

  2. […] Why String Theorists Should Switch Fields to Quantum Computing. […]

    Pingback by Short Items « Not Even Wrong — March 9, 2010 @ 7:09 pm

  3. No PW, no LM? Ha!
    If animals migrate, predatory and symbiotic ones follow.

    It is not wise to have a business with the military people when their virtue is in secrecy.

    Probably you haven’t heard about a group of Witten’s hamsters called “G4” who are cool and tough as well as intelligent. 😉

    Why aren’t people flooding into the field when the learning period is so short?

    String theorists will convert the field into a branch of mathematics. Do you want it? (Look what they are doing when they go to condensed matter theory.)

    Do you want extra-dimensional quantum computing? You will see.

    Comment by jester — March 9, 2010 @ 10:24 pm

  4. Sorry the Loopys are there, too:


    Comment by fh — March 9, 2010 @ 10:40 pm

  5. Pathetic. All of you.


    Comment by D R Lunsford — March 10, 2010 @ 12:57 pm

  6. string theorists would first switch to N=4 quantum computing

    Comment by M — March 10, 2010 @ 2:30 pm

  7. Unfortunately, quantum computing has already been converted into a branch of mathematics
    by some mathematical physicists.

    Comment by Q. — March 11, 2010 @ 4:26 am

  8. …Already done:


    Comment by Smurf — March 18, 2010 @ 10:36 pm

  9. But I thought that the main attraction of string theory was supposed to be that it was one of the few branches of mathematics that didn’t seem to be covertly funded by the military.

    String theory was safe, //ethical// math, because you knew that it had no military applications.
    Because it didn’t seem to have any applications at all. So you could spend your life working on it, safely, knowing that you weren’t going to be responsible for killing people, or creating intruments of oppression, or accidentally completing the project and making yourself redundant.

    Comment by ErkDemon — April 2, 2010 @ 2:14 am

  10. String theorists should switch to quantum computing because it offers the shortest path to proving string theory true. A good quantum computer should be able to evaluate every possible value of every hypothesized dimension, yielding (if string theory is correct) a set of values that is compatible with the physical constants humans have measured. It’s just like cracking a combination safe, only with eleven (or so) very big dials.

    Comment by Scott W. Somerville — March 22, 2011 @ 5:12 pm

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