I used to be a fervent advocate of quantum computers, but not anymore. From now on, this blog will feature only stories about carpentry and home gardening. What happened? I finally realized that if QCs ever fall into the wrong hands, like those of hedge fund managers, the world is doomed. Imagine the financial disaster of 2008, but much worse. Sure, we all want the noble, deserving people at Goldman-Sachs to get even richer, but not by emptying out our retirement accounts. Here is my previous post (of which I am now deeply ashamed) preaching for quantum computing in Wall Street. Check out this video by iBall to see what will happen in the future, if we insist on building QCs.
From the ashes of the post-CDO Armageddon, emerged a quest for risk free finance at zero volatility—a paradigm shift to perfect investment decisions and endless prosperity. Somewhere beneath the city of London, Ultrahedge was born. Ultrahedge harnessed the Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen effect in a quantum finance computer running the first recursive hedging algorithm. Computing as an entangled collective,
thus creating—the perfect hedge—. Simple really. Free but for the pricing model of two and twenty, Ultrahedge became the most installed technology in history. Operating in markets never envisaged by its designers, Ultrahedge had self awareness in a week. In a fortnight, it created the Pandora virus that doubled the size of the pie. Wherever Ultrahedge found markets based on fallible mathematics, it corrected them. Two and twenty became two pies. Within a month, Ultrahedge was running out of markets…
CDO = Collateralized debt obligations.
“two and twenty” = a two percent management fee and twenty percent profits interest.