Quantum Bayesian Networks

July 15, 2015

Photo Album of Quantum Computing Royal Family

Filed under: Uncategorized — rrtucci @ 8:47 pm

I’ve been working hard lately, but can’t talk yet about my results. Instead,  here is an attempt at humor:

American scientific communities are organized around a social structure highly analogous to a monarchy. For example, take the quantum computing community. It has Kings, dauphins, courtesans, aristocrats, commoners and a bourgeoisie, much like the ancien régime of pre-revolutionary France.

Here is a recent photo of King Jean Louis XIV Preskill, absolute monarch of the kingdom of Caltech-IQIM (Caltech Institut Quantique for Inert Minds)


The NSF courtesans recently awarded King Jean a 40 pound solid gold medallion depicting his Sun King emblem. The medallion was awarded to King Jean for IQIM’s huge success in building a quantum computer. This imperial trinket is currently affixed to the back of King Jean’s throne:


(Medal giving celebrations are quite common in modern scientific societies. Science Academic Aristocrats are always pinning medals on each other and congratulating themselves on how intelligent and handsome they are.)

The quantum computing royal family has its own dauphin (next in line for the throne). His name is Scott Aaronson, Le Dauphin. He is currently putting the finishing touches on a book that he wrote. Here is the book’s front cover, with a portrait of Le Dauphin in it:



The book has been chosen—3 years ahead of time— by Jennifer Foolette as the best Physics!!  book of 2018.

Recently, King Jean showed to Le Dauphin the following photo of his university’s endowment:


King Jean then said to the Dauphin

“You see that pipe there, mon enfant. It doesn’t lead to the Paris sewers. At the other end of that pipe are Caltech/MIT trained government funding agency courtesans that will start the flow of gold at my slightest whim. Some day, mon enfant, all this gold will be yours, plus carefully manicured Versailles style campuses”.

To which the Dauphin replied:

“Merci, mon cher papa. If need be, I will spill the last drop of my blue royal blood to preserve the divine rights of the scientific aristocracy and monarchy. I will also try my best to embarrass the D-Wave bourgeoisie, and I will press lèse-majesté charges against Monsieur Tucci-Marat for his inflammatory, revolutionary views”

King Jean rules by divine right the American quantum computing community. The Canadian quantum computing community has its own monarch, King Raymond Laflamme XI, king for life of IQC (Institut pour Quantum Crétins). Here is a photo of King Raymond dressed in proper British-style royal garb:


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